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This is how your steak and potatoes philistine macho-man husband thinks. On the most primitive and animalistic level it is our job to make sure the human race continues, at all cost. We get erections ridiculously easy and we come quickly. In the modern world that means yes, we’re ready to go anytime, anywhere. To a man, if the sex is good, the relationship is good. It’s a result of a close, safe, caring bond with their man. Frequency varies from couple to couple and is usually a compromise between two competing desires, so there’s no point in defining here what constitutes “frequent”.
This how your artsy-fartsy feminist boyfriend thinks. The most maddening part is we get sexual thoughts about all women regardless of appropriateness or attraction. It’s a by-product, and not a test of the relationship’s value.
Sexual addiction, an umbrella term which includes pornography addiction, is likely the most harmful addiction when it comes to marriages.
The reasons for this are numerous and include the shame associated with this addiction for both the addict and the spouse, the sense of betrayal, and stereotypes linked to the addiction.
However, judging from Oprah, Dear Abby, and countless magazines and relationship columnists it apparently needs to be mentioned. Men get the same charge out of porn as they do from watching You Tube videos of explosions, fights, and guys getting hit in the nuts. So drop all the female centric opinions about porn and what it means if your man watches it. Women we don’t find attractive are the most frustrating. Men like to be in the presence of attractive women. If we are in the grocery store, and there are three checkout lines of equal length, we will choose to wait in the line with the most attractive checker.
I’m going to tell you something about men and porn that is so important, so profound, that I’ll write it in all caps, bold it and use italics…oh, and put it in red also: A man could be in the most amazing relationship, with the most beautiful woman in the world, and have mind-blowing sex every day, and he would still look at porn. It means nothing and you can’t stop it anymore than you can stop the tides. If a man sees a woman he doesn’t like he’ll have brief flashes of thought about how he wouldn’t like to do her. It is a curse and all men simply learn to disregard these images and thoughts. If one of the checkers is especially attractive, but has the longest line, we will probably take it anyway if we don’t look too creepy doing it.
While a porn addict desperately craves love and intimacy (something he is probably unaware of), he seeks it out in the exact place that will cause him to become less and less able to experience it.
As I hear sexual addicts talk about their past, it becomes apparent why they are so uncomfortable with the idea of intimacy.
Norman Doidge, psychiatrist and author of the acclaimed book, , studied porn addicts.When a man becomes addicted to pornography, it can become a perceived need rather than a choice for him until he becomes willing to reach out for help.His use of porn causes a release of the same chemicals involved when a drug is ingested.Your husband had this addiction, or the proclivity toward it, before he ever met you, regardless of what he says.In spite of what you think or even what he might have said, nothing you could do could be enough to sexually satisfy your porn addicted spouse.